Happy New Year :)

I mean it...I hope everyone thats reading this has an extremely blessed year, and that things are better than last year.  Times may be rough in the US (economically) but that doensn't mean our world is going to shatter.

There is so much to be thankful for, and I hope this year beings everyone closer to what they really want in life.

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I felt like I was losing one of my most dearest friends, and it was in part due to the choices that I was making.  I cried a bit and thought, damn, this NYE is going to suck. 

I knew I had a couple of hours left for that nonsense, because the New Year was going to change everything for me. It was going to be a fresh start.  I'm the type of person that starts things on the hour, on a Monday, etc...the new year was perfect.

After talking to some of my loved ones I realized that I in fact didn't lose a friend, he lost me.  Simple as that.  Sometimes people need time apart for healing and thats exactly what I'm doing.  The analogy my friend used was, when you remove a cancer from your body, you dont go and try to reinstall it, you leave it to die.  I was like damn, okay. I guess you're right. 

So enough of that. 

I spent last night w/ my mother's side of the family.  Its mostly older women so I was like oh man, what will it be like, but they're super cool and nice. I had a nice time and the best part was that i was back at my place by 3 am, in bed by 4. 

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Thats exactly what I needed.  I needed to start the New Year with a peace of mind, well-rested, and definitely feeling great because all i drank last night was Pepsi.

I woke up optimistic, knowing that my world wasn't going to end.  I knew in a couple of hours it would be my birthday and that for this new year, if i really wanted to change, and become a better person, i would have to start as soon as i woke up.

And I did.

I went shopping alone and I smiled at strangers. Not the weird, i want to do you smile that you may often get on the subways in NYC, but more like the 'hey im human too, hope all is well' kind of smile that we often forget we know how to provide the world.

It was cool. It was cold as shit outside but I managed to find some great sales, although I was only out to find a dress for my bday party on friday (im turning 24 :)  I didn't find the dress but i found 2 awesome pairs of shoes and clothes.

As soon as midnight struck, my mejorcita called me to wish me a happy birthday - i was all smiles.  The first text was from the ex...nice gesture i guess. i appreciated it :|

This is going to be a great year.  I started reading an amazing book called "Never Eat Alone" and I can feel that this year will be so much better than the last.  I'm out with the old, and in w/ the new - welcoming all the new good things in store for me.  I'm cutting strings, forgiving those that have hurt me, and am also asking for forgiveness where ever necessary. 

It's time to move on and more forward.

My new motto is 'success is getting what you want. happiness is wanting what you get'.  Now the first thing is determining what I really want...then ill focus on how to get it...and appreciate it when I do.

These are also parts of my goals & dreams for 2009

I will find these four things: someone to love, something to do, something to hope for, and something to believe in...oh, and i'll keep focused!