This past summer I thought I lost my once-engagement ring (im not sure if that makes sense, but whatever, the ring that was once my engagement ring).
It was during the time that I moved into my own place and I remembered where I had it, and then it was gone.
I cried. I searched. I cried. And searched some more.
I never found it, and was convinced someone stole it - mind you, I was living alone. Either that or I thought I threw it out by mistake because I had too many stupid little zales boxes.
Anyway, my mejorcita told me it was the only way I could've gotten rid of it. Meaning it was the best way (i think thats what she meant), because if it were up to me I would've held on to something that really had no purpose in my life anymore. It was what sorta tied my ex, although him and I weren't friends anymore, sort of together.
I got over it and thought you know what, its better that I lost it. I really would've not been able to get rid of it, what better way than not knowing how it disappeared, right?
Well - I found it last Thursday, as I was looking for something else...funny, huh...it always takes looking for something to else, to actually find something you thought you once lost.
Now I don't know what to do with it. I felt so stupid because I got sooo happy that I found it. Like come on chi. its over. I don't know if I should try to find the best deal on the streets for it, by just selling it, or if I should save it - for Lord knows what.
Now I'm going to sleep.
You need four things in life: someone to love, something to do, something to hope for, and something to believe in...
I agree.
One of my current goals is to become closer with my fam - I mean, they are pretty cool, so why not?
Christmas Eve I had a lot of fun making fun of my brother's cute scarf - which I want.
My sis was taking the pics and at one point she caught me off-guard, laughing, but I did look straight into the cam - w/ my mouth half open...
Can you tell how random this pic was? I love it. Thanks Bay!
Oh - this is one of the many shots taken w/ his scarf -
Isn't that a girl scarf?? And yes, that is my gangster, i live in the bronx pose. thx
I sort of became aware of them this week.
One - I love books and want to have a library in my home.
Two - I love piggy banks.
So, I'm a nerd and ever since I learned how to read I never stopped, and tried doing as much of it, because as a child I talked a lot and was often told to be quiet. Reading was my getaway.
This week I decided to organize whatever books I have in my place (I have more in storage) into categories and then alphabetically. I'm kind of weird when it comes to organizing...I like need to do it. (You have to see my closet, its organized by sleeve length, and then colors - none, short, long, hoodies, etc...)
My lil' mini library looks very cute now and I realize I only have about 10 books to go, to fill up my small space. I bought myself 4 books last week (reading is also an addiction of mine - every damn airport I go to has some sort of bookstore, so having a long wait to go home can sometimes cost me a lot)...I love reading books by Latino authors and I love 'self-help' books. I'm not crazy, but I really enjoy reading about making oneself better, thinking more positive, living stress-free, etc. A lot of it is common sense, but we all know that is not always so common. So the categories I have are money, business (negotiation, public speaking, networking), latino authors, self-help, love/dating, looking good/weight loss and decorating.
I hope to expand my library one day. I would loveeeeeeeeeeeeee to have the library in Beauty & the Beast - does anyone remember it???
If you don't check it out below. If my future husband is reading this - I'm kidding about actually having this in our beautiful home. I would be happy with one wall, w/ shelves and no it doesn't have to be in a loft or anything, and I promise not to let it smell like yucky libraries usually do. Oh, and if Mr. Future Husband you're reading this - send me a fcuking message. I want to know who the f you are and what took you so long to find me!
Part two of this long post is piggy banks. I love 'em. Back in college, my sophomore year, I was out shopping on Walnut St (I went to school in Pittsburgh) and I came across this lil' shop that had the cutest, most random things - for kids. Well, being the big kid that I was, I decided to poke around and see if I found something cute for my lil sis (she was the one 'kid' that I had in my life) so as I searched I found a piggy bank made by 'Creativity for kids'. It was a set that came with a colorless piggy, w/ paint and a brush. It's for kids, and comes with a booklet to help kids save...and I thought, hey, this would be a cool thing to do...me being a bored kid in college. So I bought it and went home and painted "I <3 NY" - the same way the shirts look.
The piggy bank was the cutest thing ever and I used to save all my change in it. Fast forwarding a couple of years, that piggy bank now shared the bathroom window sill with my black widow ceramic spider that I made in high school - up until the stupid winds in NYC decided to go crazy and push both of my collector's items to their deaths...
The spider was hardcore, so it survived with a couple of broken legs, but the piggy...well, it didn't make it. I got a text message from my roomie early one morning, while I was in florida and I was devastated...I was crushed...my freaking cute piggy was gone!
I did what came to mind and said F that - I'm getting another one. I had to have it...so I searched...and searched and finally found it on amazon.com (check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/Creativity-for-Kids-Allowance-Bank/dp/B00021Y0JO) I bought myself one and gave my roomie one because she works in advertising and has great style, so I'd love to see what she comes up with.
Today - I decided to finally paint my piggy. I was going to recreate the original hookup that I had given it, but then I realized that I had to do something a bit different.
The latest nickname that I have given myself is "Super Chi" - its what my bib will have on it during my 10k race in Puerto Rico in March, so I decided to paint the superman S on the piggy. I also decided to do the I <3 NY on the other side, because I'm a NYer for lifeeeeeeeeee!
Whatcha think?
Am I good? or am I good??? I just want to say that the box includes over 5 colors of paint, in this tiny lil' tube and that the paint brush is super duper thin. Not thin, like its easy to write with, but tiny so it's hard to paint.
As soon as I have children in my life, regardless if they're mind, that are old enough to learn the value of money and saving, i will definitely hook them up with one of these. It's incredible what making something 'yours' does. I love personalized things, I think those are usually the best gifts, but that may go hand-in-hand with the individualistic society that we live in - thats a wholeeeeeeeee other story though...
Yay to saving money :) I already have a big tin that I'm using as my 'active' piggy - that'll be opened when I go back to school, or when I purchase real estate. I'm focusedddddddddddd.
I only told one person what I wanted for Christmas this year, and they did exactly what I imagined - they bought it for me, and then I went to Macys, re-smelled the scent (i love perfumes), and realized I didn't like it anymore, so now i have to go to Macys and exchange the perfume for my currrent scent, which will continue being my latest scent in 2009 - Burberry's The Beat - it is soo damn good.
I told almost everyone I know not to get me everything because I honestly have every material thing that I need. I could always pick out of my bag of wants, but luckily, I usually focus on those things myself. I don't think Christmas is only about giving and quite honestly, if I see you can't, why will I force you to buy me something I myself wouldn't get myself.
Gifts are cool for kids because they enjoy that stuff, but when we get older I think our objective should change from how can I impress this person, to what can I give them that'll be really thoughtful, and beneficial. Sometimes that doesn't come in a box, or tied with a ribbon.
I'm into all that kind of stuff. The more you hang w/ people, or get to know them, you realize what they need, without them even telling you. In my past life, aka my past relationship, I was a personal shopper without even realizing it. It would just come natural - like oh, I know he needs this. Or, he doesn't need this now, but I know he will...I'm glad to have switched jobs, but I think its a talent that not many people have.
Don't get me wrong, I am living the advertised life, just like many of you out there, but this year, the best gift I gave wasn't Coach or Prada, it was a cumulation of things that I had in my place. No, no, I wasn't regifting (although I did regift a stupid Blu-ray Dvd that I received this year) but most of it were things that came from the heart, and showed more sentimental value than a price tag could ever. It was the most time-consuming gift I've probably ever given, and probably the one I'll never talk about.
Point is, listen to the people around you. What they need may not have a price tag on it, but you still may be able to provide it to them.
You know how sometimes people say 'moms know best' or that they know more than you think...I sometimes believe that. So I just described my lack of motivation in my last post, to even spend time with my family, and someone my mom got me for christmas was this cute ass thingie, that I hope will remind me to never give up.
I'm not 'depressed' because my bday is around the corner - because i'm not old enough to care about getting old, but there's a lot of confusion or uncertainty in my life right now, so that just gets overwhelming. Anyway, sometimes, in between my future goal setting, or when doing my finances I often want to just give up - just say screw it...
Look at what she got me...
When she gave it to me she said I would really, really like it and all I responded with was, "ma, this crap is mad heavy..." Then I opened it and thought wow. I really can't give up. So here's where I decided to put it in my home - to never, never, never forget.
Yup - right next to the door. I hope my roomie likes it
Thanks Mami - you have no clue what I'm going through right now, but you knew what would make me feel better :)
Oh - one more thing - I forgot to add...my mom likes doing random things. Like her and I may not have the 'best' mother/daughter relationship but she tries to show me she cares in the cutest ways...check out what I found on Dec 11th - after coming home from my last business trip in Dallas...
I used the broom to hold the door open. I came home to a door that would only be found in the suburbs...I was so happy :)
So it's that time of the year where we give, and give and give - until we can't give anymore.
The holidays mean a lot of things, but this year, all it meant was wackness.
Christmas Eve I was awaken by a mini depression trying to take over my body. It was serious. I didn't want to do a damn thing. I turned off my phone. Put up the music and hibernated until about 5 pm. By then I think my mom was about to call the cops, or come over to check on me. I finally started getting ready to go to my mother's place around 7-8...and I didn't leave my apartment until 10...yea...nooooooooooo motivation.
I didn't want to appear looking all 'under the weather' so i faked the funk - God knows I do that well!
(a wise person once told me that you should never let people see you down - meaning, you better look damn good when you leave your house! i try...)
I had a nice time w/ my fam - the 3 siblings were there, my moms and the step pops.
Luckily for me, I had a girlfriend of mine invite me out to a club...not my typical Christmas Eve - but hey...I had to. Times are different now.
...when I got home from the club I turned my phone off, just to avoid the 2343808 text messages that would most likely wake me up.
When I finally woke up, the mini depression was peeking from behind the couch so I had to motivate and decided to work out. I once again put up the music (I'm so glad I invested in a surround sound system) and I started jamming on my elliptical. I probably ran for about 45 minutes and then after I cooled down I realized that I must've exerted every last bit of energy that I had because then I was a goner.
Point is, I spent most of yesterday and today alone, and it's because I wanted just that. I ended up being the one missing from this year's family pics but whatever. As the new year & my bday approach, I'm slowly but surely trying to dig myself out of this hole that my oh' so beautiful emotions have dug me into.
Folks - if I were to explain what kind of mood I was in, it would be a combination of 'ayyy' and 'puuuu'. Combine it, but use a spanish accent...it's like waiting to exhale in spanish.
oh well.
Ever stop and wonder what the heck your future will be like...
Well - when I do, I look at my student loan website, and wonder how long it'll take me to pay them off.
Then, I go to Realtor.com and I wonder where I'll eventually end up.
I'm a city gal. Born (Brooklyn) and raised (Bronx) in NYC. I had the pleasure of leaving the city and living in Westchester for a while and I loved it. I loved having a car and not having to deal w/ the ghetto crap I deal w/ on my current block. (Yes - due to a couple of unfortunate events, I moved right back under my mom's wing...except in my own place...) So I live in the neighborhood that I grew up, since about the age of 5, and its nice to be able to go back to my elementary school (I did that today :) but the thugs in training don't make living here any cooler than any other hood.
So I go to that site and put in my old zip codes...a range of prices...and then I just start to dream. Theres this one bedroom 'suite' (never heard apartments being called that, but okay)...and it's amazing. I am soooo in love with it. It's only 75k - which is a great price to live close enough to the city to still be able to claim it. Check it out. I almost want to contact the dude and make an offer. It's been on the market for so long...I've had my eye on it...
http://www.realtor.com/realestate/mount%20vernon-ny-10552-1102308932/?source=a20058
Then, I look at Orlando - for 116k, I found a 4 bedroom, recently built home, w/ a pool. (You have to see them to believe...)
Yup. They're all within reach...I just need to know where I want to end up. Should I leave the fam, start fresh, and make my own fam? Or should I stick to what I know?
Decisions, decisions...
so word on the street is that we only have one true love...
who believes that?
is that true?
are there any statistics that support that statement? cuz im a numbers person and need some sort of proof, even if its just proof that a survey was taken of people's opinions.
so hypothetically speaking, if it is true, how do we know we've found or lost our true love?
do we get a memo?
can we sign up to receive one?
if its not true. does love just get truer, like as time goes by? btw, is truer even a word, or did i make that up?
if its true and we lost it. does that mean life is going to suck from there on after, or that we're just going to have lame loves for the rest of our lives, that never compare to the 'true love'?
if thats the case, im taking up a bunch of new hobbies.
this sucks.
[Chorus]
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?
[Verse]
Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love u and u love me,
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be,
I can climb mountains, swim cross the seas,
But the most frightening thing is you & me!
[Chorus]
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?
[Lions, Tigers and Bears Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
[Verse]
Most circumstances I know my fate
But in this love thang I don't get the game
Why does it feel like those who give in,
They only wind up losing a friend?
Just cause I love u and u love me,
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be,
Fly cross the ocean, sing for the Queen,
But the most frightening thing is you & me!
[Chorus]
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?
[Bridge]
I'm not sure no, I'm not sure
But if we never try we'll never know
It's better to have loved than not to loved at all
But trying is worst than to stumble and fall
And if what we do?
I'd rather it be with you
Cause at least there will be
Sweet memories
[Chorus]
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?
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